When's the big day?

I've found that I have a little bit of trouble telling people about the wedding. It's not like I don't like talking about it- I LOVE talking about it! But I'm hesitant to talk about the wedding if I'm not planning on inviting the person to my wedding.

If we had unlimited funds we'd let anyone come (well, not just anyone...no ex-boyfriends, obviously) but that's obviously not the case. Right now I've been pretty liberal about telling people when and where the wedding will be (it's a lot easier since we're in Boston and the wedding is in California, which is automatically a filter), but I'm a little worried about how it'll be when we meet up with friends from undergrad or casual acquaintances in California.

Technically, anyone can come to the wedding, but the banquet will be limited to close friends, family, and out-of-town guests. So here are the scenarios that make me a little nervous:
1) Friends from California who expect to be invited to the banquet even though we're really not very close
2) Friends from school who want to fly out but aren't on our invite list at all

I guess we'll worry about it if/when the situations arise. Most people are wedding-savvy enough to not be hurt if they aren't invited (we've had several friends get engaged this past year, so it's a lot of money for them to fly out to every wedding!), but I'm worried about how to gracefully change the subject or even talk about the wedding without feelings getting hurt.

My FI thinks I'm overreacting, but I guess I'd rather have an idea of what I'm going to say instead of being embarrassed (or embarrassing the other person). Ideas? Thoughts?