do me a favor?

LESS THAN 5 MONTHS! HOLY COW!

It is not a good idea to think/talk about wedding stuff when I'm tired, I have to go to work, I haven't seen my fiance in four days, and I'm feeling stressed. I made this mistake when I was talking to him the other night. I was like, "dude, we have five months left! There's still a lot to do." After I listed everything I thought we still had to do he was like, "We don't really have to do all those right away, right?" If we had been in the same room I would have shot him the dirtiest look I could summon.

He's right- we don't have to do all of these things right now. Some things, like the invitations, have to wait. HOWEVER since W is gonna be in Hartford all stinkin' summer, that leaves just me to take care of all the wedding stuff if we put it off, not to mention finding an apartment to move into in August.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE planning things. But I think I have very high expectations for this wedding...because I'm viewing it as a HUGE party for our friends and family, and I want it to not only reflect us, but to show appreciation for the important people in our lives that are coming to share our big day. I know in the end all the details don't matter, but I care a lot about how things turn out. I like to care about the details.

I had a dream that W and I were driving away from our wedding and discussing the day. We both felt like it was "whatever" and didn't think it was really fun. Needless to say, I was really upset when I woke up!

I know I have to give everything over to God...even small details like our wedding favors (sets of measuring spoons! The tag will say "Measure your life in love" and have our new address on it!) 5 months is still plenty of time to get things done, and really, in the end, all that matters is that we're married. I think I would feel better if I didn't feel like I was carrying the weight of the wedding on my shoulders. It sorta feels like I'm always the one instigating wedding planning...but I know W is busy with school and stressed about projects and stuff, so I don't feel like it's fair to get upset about it. We're going to NYC this weekend to meet up with the pastor who's marrying us, so hopefully time in the car will be fruitful. Please pray that I'm gracious, patient, and loving towards him!

I totally miss you all- even the Boston people. It's only March but I can already see my weekends and free time dwindling away. Sadness.