the sisterhood

There's a new trend where women have their best guy friends stand on their side instead of/in addition to bridesmaids. Back in high school I might have been interested in that idea, but now I'm thinking, "Why would you have a guy when girls are so much more fun?"

Exhibit A: making my married bridesmaids model accessories for the wedding.





















Seriously though...back when I thought girls and guys could be friends and it wouldn't get messy I was all about having guy friends. Thankfully I realized that platonic guy/girl friendships are a sham, and having close girl friends was a million times better than being some boy's "little sister" or "best friend." (That is, until he's willing to commit to being my best friend forever.)

Throughout this whole wedding planning process I've been reminded over and over how good it is to have good girl friends. I can talk about wedding stuff with guys, but their perspective will always be different. They don't have to think about changing their last names. They don't have to "leave" their families. They generally don't care about all the details of the reception. They don't obsess over whether or not they chose the right dress. They just don't understand, because the weight of the wedding is almost always put on the women.

Women KNOW. Even when we're not dating we have things in mind...or we see things we like and stick them in folders "for much later." We are aware of this huge undertaking because it's our responsibility. A couple weeks ago I was feeling really burdened by that fact, but lately I've been feeling empowered. I think it's an interesting model of how I hope our married relationship will be: right now, he trusts me to make decisions for us, but I try to consider what's best for him first. When we're married it'll be vice versa.

My graphic-designer cousin emailed to ask us about the invitations that she'll be designing and I started to freak out because we didn't have anything concrete to tell her. I thought up one thing but W didn't really like it, so it was back to the drawing board. W got frustrated because I was getting so caught up in all the details of it when he felt like no one would really care what the invitation looked like. I got frustrated because I care what it looks like!

Once I called my cousin and talked with her we came up with something that could work pretty well. It's funny cuz the first thing she suggested was the design that I originally came up with- so it was reassuring that we were on the same page. In the end, all of the discussions W and I had about the invitations today were really helpful because it helped me get a picture of what he wanted, even though he claimed not to care. It was such a relief to talk to her and get on the same page...and really, it was just fun to talk with her since she's my only first cousin who's married. It's fun to share that bond. =)