Recently I've noticed that it doesn't take very much to annoy me. Another email asking whether or not we invited someone to the wedding? Annoyed. Finding out someone hasn't booked their ticket to the wedding yet? Annoyed. Not realizing that I'm inside the moving truck before moving it? Annoyed.
I don't know where this spirit of contempt is coming from. I'm guessing it's a biproduct of stress, so I'm trying to relax. Part of it might be resentment because this planning feels very lonely. I know people want to help, but usually W is the person I need to help me with stuff (just because they're decisions, not physical tasks) and he's not around all the time. I'll be glad when planning is over because maybe then I can be normal. Maybe. Just maybe.
I'll try and counteract the negativity with some positive thoughts:
1) I love my caterer. She's been great at accommodating our requests and is doing everything she can to ensure that I don't have to worry about her part.
2) I love my decorations gal. I stopped worrying about reception decorations the minute I appointed her.
3) I'm thankful for W and his willingness to move all my junk to the new apartment.
4) I'm thankful for our new apartment! It might be a little on the older side and a little further from work, but I'm glad we found something affordable with enough space for us.
5) I'm glad for good girl friends who patiently listen to me complain about wedding stuff even though their lives are much more serious/important.
6) I'm thankful that work has been manageable lately. I don't know if I'm getting better assignments on purpose but it's been a blessing to not have to worry about staying 3 hours later just to finish up paperwork.
7) I love that Bisquick pancakes can actually be pretty tasty. I really wanted pancakes the other day and that totally hit the spot.
8) I'm thankful for a spa gift certificate from a certain former roommate- I was saving it for the wedding, and it'll be the perfect indulgence for this week.
9) My sibs have been phenomenal- anything I've asked of them they've helped with, and then some.
10) W has been really patient even though I was really snappy with him yesterday.
11) I'm thankful that Craigslist exists. The couch that no one wants to move will be moved tonight.
12) I'm glad that Facebook lets us see pictures from other people's albums even if we're not friends with them.
Okay, that's enough for now. Time to move a couch.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
secret single behavior
Is it weird that I suddenly want to exert my independence more and more as the wedding gets closer? I love W, of course, and I can't wait to marry him, but part of me really enjoys the alone time I've been able to have since he's only in town on the weekends. I miss him like crazy, but I get really excited when I get to go somewhere by myself or have some kind of adventure. Maybe my feminist side wants to remind me that I'm a very capable person. Or maybe this is some weird bachelorette mechanism that kicks in once I realize that I'm gonna be married to this person forever. Sorta like in Full House when Uncle Jesse goes skydiving right before his wedding because he feels like he's not gonna have any adventures anymore.
Really though? I know W will be fine if I have a weekend with my girls. And our schedules will be different so I can still explore and learn and fuel the economy alone if I choose (although a lot of times it's more fun when W's there, especially if we're eating cuz then I can try more food). I think when it comes down to it I'm not that worried about missing out cuz I'm married...I'm more worried about missing out on things if I'm pregnant or if I have a bunch of kids running around. And I know that's a ways off, but after I get married it could be ANY TIME. Granted, we're taking measures to try and prevent getting pregnant right away, but who knows what will happen. I know I shouldn't be worried, especially since I want to have kids eventually, but it hit me during premarital counseling that we need to be loving and supporting each other not only for ourselves, but for our future family. Our family! Wow! Something that I've dreamed of for so long could be a reality soon. Crazy.
This whole process is so unreal. Thanks for sharing it with me. =)
Really though? I know W will be fine if I have a weekend with my girls. And our schedules will be different so I can still explore and learn and fuel the economy alone if I choose (although a lot of times it's more fun when W's there, especially if we're eating cuz then I can try more food). I think when it comes down to it I'm not that worried about missing out cuz I'm married...I'm more worried about missing out on things if I'm pregnant or if I have a bunch of kids running around. And I know that's a ways off, but after I get married it could be ANY TIME. Granted, we're taking measures to try and prevent getting pregnant right away, but who knows what will happen. I know I shouldn't be worried, especially since I want to have kids eventually, but it hit me during premarital counseling that we need to be loving and supporting each other not only for ourselves, but for our future family. Our family! Wow! Something that I've dreamed of for so long could be a reality soon. Crazy.
This whole process is so unreal. Thanks for sharing it with me. =)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
one month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY COW.
There's SO much to do in one month...luckily I had time on the plane to make multiple to-do lists, so I feel a little better. But still...wow! W and I were talking about it today and it's finally starting to sink in for both of us. Maybe it's cuz we have an apartment now? I dunno what it is, but now it's crunch time. Like, for real!
We're still having issues with the registry (aka W's being picky about what goes on there and I don't care about what goes on there cuz it's the least of my worries). Any suggestions on what to ask for? I already threw in some fun things and people bought them for us! (homemade ice cream, here we come!) Suggestions are welcome- I keep forgetting basic household things because I have SO MUCH CRAP in my room that needs to be reduced significantly if I'm gonna be sharing space with someone in a month. Did I mention that I need to pack? Am I starting to sound stressed?
There's SO much to do in one month...luckily I had time on the plane to make multiple to-do lists, so I feel a little better. But still...wow! W and I were talking about it today and it's finally starting to sink in for both of us. Maybe it's cuz we have an apartment now? I dunno what it is, but now it's crunch time. Like, for real!
We're still having issues with the registry (aka W's being picky about what goes on there and I don't care about what goes on there cuz it's the least of my worries). Any suggestions on what to ask for? I already threw in some fun things and people bought them for us! (homemade ice cream, here we come!) Suggestions are welcome- I keep forgetting basic household things because I have SO MUCH CRAP in my room that needs to be reduced significantly if I'm gonna be sharing space with someone in a month. Did I mention that I need to pack? Am I starting to sound stressed?
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
taking notes
Our friends J&C got married this past weekend (Congrats!) and W and I had the privilege of helping them on the big day. I got the behind-the-scenes look as a bridesmaid, and W was our trusty driver. The wedding was beautiful and went very smoothly thanks to the groom's detailed spreadsheet.
I loved being part of the bridal party, especially since C is such a great friend, and I think getting to support her on her big day was my favorite part. We ended up having a three-part toast (there were only three bridesmaids, including the MOH) and it was a fun opportunity to reflect on our friendship. The music was good, the food was good, dancing was fun...but really? It was just wonderful to share in a friend's joy.
I'll be in DC for another wedding this coming Sunday, so it'll be fun to share in yet another friend's joy! And yes, I've been taking notes at these weddings...gotta figure out what last minute things I can include in the wedding and what things are okay to omit.
A picture of W and me from the wedding: (aka proof that 2 weeks is just about right for his hair, and that my hair needs to be all up or the curls will fall out)
I loved being part of the bridal party, especially since C is such a great friend, and I think getting to support her on her big day was my favorite part. We ended up having a three-part toast (there were only three bridesmaids, including the MOH) and it was a fun opportunity to reflect on our friendship. The music was good, the food was good, dancing was fun...but really? It was just wonderful to share in a friend's joy.
I'll be in DC for another wedding this coming Sunday, so it'll be fun to share in yet another friend's joy! And yes, I've been taking notes at these weddings...gotta figure out what last minute things I can include in the wedding and what things are okay to omit.
A picture of W and me from the wedding: (aka proof that 2 weeks is just about right for his hair, and that my hair needs to be all up or the curls will fall out)
Thursday, June 26, 2008
behind the scenes
Just thought it'd be fun to show you Wayne's hair trial:
This is the un-gelled version. Apparently the side part that he sported in our engagement pictures makes him look too much like a Chinese dad. I think it's fine, and he thinks so too, so we're gonna go with a shorter version of the side part but gelled. He's done it before so it looks fine...the trick is figuring out when he needs to cut his hair so it's the right length. He went to our hairstylist before A&E's wedding to get his hair cut and when he walked through the door I was like "oh no!" It was way short. After a week it looked better though, and now that it's been 2 weeks it's just about right. And he's not making a kissy face in the picture- he's going for Magnum. "Dear God...it's beautiful!"
And our lovely, simple Chinese invitations:
Sorry the pictures aren't great, but they fit all of the qualifications: red, with the double happiness symbol, and in Chinese. We made them ourselves, thanks to the suggestion of C.L. (soon to be C.C.!!) and the friendly clerk at Paper Source. And by ourselves I mean with help from my womens group and W's uncle. We're invitation MACHINES.
Other than that, we're in the stage where we're getting RSVPs and paying for things. W is in Hartford during the week, and thankfully I've had time to visit him last week and today. The drive isn't too bad cuz I don't go during high traffic hours. I still miss him though- it's so pathetic. After I saw him today I started to get sad the minute I got into my own car to leave Hartford. I know I'll see him over the weekend, but it's not the same. I'm gonna go into shock after the wedding cuz we'll be together ALL THE TIME. Eesh!
This is the un-gelled version. Apparently the side part that he sported in our engagement pictures makes him look too much like a Chinese dad. I think it's fine, and he thinks so too, so we're gonna go with a shorter version of the side part but gelled. He's done it before so it looks fine...the trick is figuring out when he needs to cut his hair so it's the right length. He went to our hairstylist before A&E's wedding to get his hair cut and when he walked through the door I was like "oh no!" It was way short. After a week it looked better though, and now that it's been 2 weeks it's just about right. And he's not making a kissy face in the picture- he's going for Magnum. "Dear God...it's beautiful!"
And our lovely, simple Chinese invitations:
Sorry the pictures aren't great, but they fit all of the qualifications: red, with the double happiness symbol, and in Chinese. We made them ourselves, thanks to the suggestion of C.L. (soon to be C.C.!!) and the friendly clerk at Paper Source. And by ourselves I mean with help from my womens group and W's uncle. We're invitation MACHINES.
Other than that, we're in the stage where we're getting RSVPs and paying for things. W is in Hartford during the week, and thankfully I've had time to visit him last week and today. The drive isn't too bad cuz I don't go during high traffic hours. I still miss him though- it's so pathetic. After I saw him today I started to get sad the minute I got into my own car to leave Hartford. I know I'll see him over the weekend, but it's not the same. I'm gonna go into shock after the wedding cuz we'll be together ALL THE TIME. Eesh!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
makeup
Before shot
Jamie spent maybe 30 minutes getting foundation and everything figured out, and came up with this:
My reaction was like, "whoa!" And not a good "whoa" either. The eye makeup was really heavy, and I almost looked kinda bruised. We wiped down my eyes and made it less dramatic and got this:
Excuse my crooked smile- it's awkward taking pictures of yourself with all that makeup on. It was better, but I think we're gonna go with an eyeshadow that's more on the light purple/lilac side instead of indigo. If I was onstage in a dance performance the former might have worked, but I think we'll have to mute it a little.
Monday, June 16, 2008
opinions please!
Okay, in an effort to make my pew decorations interesting, I think I might use these:
Hanging vases from cb2, Crate and Barrel's more modern, "affordable" division. Basically, we have hooks for each pew, and we can tie a ribbon onto the vase and have it loop around the hook. We could either have tulle ribbon (basically tulle but a lot less of it) connect each vase (I'd put a vase on every other pew) or just have a tulle or satin ribbon at the base. It's very minimalistic but that way I could incorporate a single flower or something to make it very clean but pretty.
The only problem is that our pews look like this:
There's, like, upholstery on the pews, so I don't know if that takes away from the look. Also, we're not using a runner, so I'll be walking on purple carpet.
Any opinions are helpful! I need to know:
1) If the hanging vases are worth the trouble
2) If there should be ribbon/tulle connecting the pews or if each decoration should be separate
3) What color and what kind of flower we should use for the hanging vases if we do use them.
The previous cloth and single flower thing I posted about doesn't work because the top of the pews are shaped weird.
ALSO- As of right now my flower girls (who are both 7 years old) will be holding baskets of flowers and walking down the aisle. The more I think about this, the less I like it. Part of me wants them to either A) Hold pomanders
(those flower ball thingies)
or b) toss silk petals down the aisle for my entrance. I think the clean-up for the silk petals will be a little bit of a pain, but it might dress up the otherwise plain aisle. Hopefully between the two of them they can scatter the petals pretty well instead of dropping it in clumps or something. Really? They're seven. They're smart.
OPINIONS PLEASE! Invitations are pretty much done, so now I can get back to all the little details. Thanks. =)
Hanging vases from cb2, Crate and Barrel's more modern, "affordable" division. Basically, we have hooks for each pew, and we can tie a ribbon onto the vase and have it loop around the hook. We could either have tulle ribbon (basically tulle but a lot less of it) connect each vase (I'd put a vase on every other pew) or just have a tulle or satin ribbon at the base. It's very minimalistic but that way I could incorporate a single flower or something to make it very clean but pretty.
The only problem is that our pews look like this:
There's, like, upholstery on the pews, so I don't know if that takes away from the look. Also, we're not using a runner, so I'll be walking on purple carpet.
Any opinions are helpful! I need to know:
1) If the hanging vases are worth the trouble
2) If there should be ribbon/tulle connecting the pews or if each decoration should be separate
3) What color and what kind of flower we should use for the hanging vases if we do use them.
The previous cloth and single flower thing I posted about doesn't work because the top of the pews are shaped weird.
ALSO- As of right now my flower girls (who are both 7 years old) will be holding baskets of flowers and walking down the aisle. The more I think about this, the less I like it. Part of me wants them to either A) Hold pomanders
(those flower ball thingies)or b) toss silk petals down the aisle for my entrance. I think the clean-up for the silk petals will be a little bit of a pain, but it might dress up the otherwise plain aisle. Hopefully between the two of them they can scatter the petals pretty well instead of dropping it in clumps or something. Really? They're seven. They're smart.
OPINIONS PLEASE! Invitations are pretty much done, so now I can get back to all the little details. Thanks. =)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
it's official!
75% of the invitations have been mailed. Or, well, I just tossed them in the mailbox outside my apartment complex, so they'll be on their way to various destinations all over the country by noon tomorrow. The other 25% are pending addresses and guest list alterations.
I can't wait till you see them! My cousin had to create four different designs until we found something that worked (with printing and everything) and I had to drive into Boston 4 separate times, but it was worth it. Hopefully everyone likes it, too. We completed the Chinese invitations and gave them to W's parents so those should be on their way. I'm gonna send one to my great aunt and one to my grandma since they're in Chinese and English...I think they'd appreciate it. I like having an original design because, well, I'm high maintenance like that.
I'm hoping that the invitations are more of a formality than a first alert that someone's invited to the wedding. I get a little stressed when I hear that people haven't booked their flights yet. Airfare is so expensive nowadays and it'll probably only get worse. *sigh*
I've been really bummed when I hear that people can't make it, but I was reminded that I'm very blessed cuz one of my friends is getting married in Taiwan and none of her friends can go. If I had an abundance of earned time and if W didn't have his internship I would have pushed for us to go (I would have pushed for a stop in Hawaii for D&L's wedding while we were at it, too). This summer is gonna be crazy...and it all starts this weekend with summer wedding #1!
I can't wait till you see them! My cousin had to create four different designs until we found something that worked (with printing and everything) and I had to drive into Boston 4 separate times, but it was worth it. Hopefully everyone likes it, too. We completed the Chinese invitations and gave them to W's parents so those should be on their way. I'm gonna send one to my great aunt and one to my grandma since they're in Chinese and English...I think they'd appreciate it. I like having an original design because, well, I'm high maintenance like that.
I'm hoping that the invitations are more of a formality than a first alert that someone's invited to the wedding. I get a little stressed when I hear that people haven't booked their flights yet. Airfare is so expensive nowadays and it'll probably only get worse. *sigh*
I've been really bummed when I hear that people can't make it, but I was reminded that I'm very blessed cuz one of my friends is getting married in Taiwan and none of her friends can go. If I had an abundance of earned time and if W didn't have his internship I would have pushed for us to go (I would have pushed for a stop in Hawaii for D&L's wedding while we were at it, too). This summer is gonna be crazy...and it all starts this weekend with summer wedding #1!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
ready set go
It sounds ridiculous, but I have several "aesthetic" goals for the wedding:
1) Figure out how long it takes to grow my nails to an appropriate length
2) Do everything to avoid tan lines on my upper body
3) Be curvy!
4) Find the optimal eyebrow curve (this may include getting my eyebrows threaded, I haven't decided yet)
5) Keep my skin well moisturized
6) Exfoliate so my skin isn't all dry and flaky when I moisturize it
7) Figure out how to not be bloated and gross on my wedding day
Basically, I want to glow. I think that generally comes with the package when I'm a bride. I'm trying to increase my water intake and eat more fruits and veggies...to the point where I'm considering having more vegetarian meals to make sure I'm getting lots of vitamins. (It doesn't hurt that summer is the best time for veggies, and it's so stinkin' hot here in Boston that meat-heavy meals make you feel gross...unless it's a bbq. =)
I was trying to think about why it's easy to come up with these little things and obsess over my appearance...and I think it's because it's easier to plan these things because they have very tangible results. The harder part? Actually preparing to be a wife. Praying for my husband-to-be. Understanding the depth of God's intention for marriage. Making sure my inside is just as beautiful as outside, if not more. A few weeks ago the weight of getting married finally hit me (emotionally and mentally...I was a wreck for a couple days. "Everything's changing! Am I really ready for this??!") and now it's settling in. I hope I remember that being beautiful is more than just aesthetics.
Prayer for this would be greatly appreciated!
1) Figure out how long it takes to grow my nails to an appropriate length
2) Do everything to avoid tan lines on my upper body
3) Be curvy!
4) Find the optimal eyebrow curve (this may include getting my eyebrows threaded, I haven't decided yet)
5) Keep my skin well moisturized
6) Exfoliate so my skin isn't all dry and flaky when I moisturize it
7) Figure out how to not be bloated and gross on my wedding day
Basically, I want to glow. I think that generally comes with the package when I'm a bride. I'm trying to increase my water intake and eat more fruits and veggies...to the point where I'm considering having more vegetarian meals to make sure I'm getting lots of vitamins. (It doesn't hurt that summer is the best time for veggies, and it's so stinkin' hot here in Boston that meat-heavy meals make you feel gross...unless it's a bbq. =)
I was trying to think about why it's easy to come up with these little things and obsess over my appearance...and I think it's because it's easier to plan these things because they have very tangible results. The harder part? Actually preparing to be a wife. Praying for my husband-to-be. Understanding the depth of God's intention for marriage. Making sure my inside is just as beautiful as outside, if not more. A few weeks ago the weight of getting married finally hit me (emotionally and mentally...I was a wreck for a couple days. "Everything's changing!
Prayer for this would be greatly appreciated!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
another night another dream but always you
My dreams are getting more specific now:
Last night the wedding was at a really nice, historic estate. Lots of people were there (lots of people that aren't on the invite list, I might add), and a bunch of them were rehearsing to sing at the wedding. My wedding coordinator told me that we were really lucky to have such talented people perform for us. It's true!
Anyway, it's, like, 3 hours before the wedding and I'm running around doing stuff, but a friend comes by and asks for my advice. He apparently just broke up with someone because they weren't going the same direction and he was thinking about dating one of my friends. He asks if I have time to explain what love is...and after thinking about it I tell him that part of love is wanting the best for the other person, no matter what sacrifices you have to make for yourself.
More people come to our wedding than we had planned, so parking is crazy. We end up using not only the regular parking lot, but filling up a nearby parking garage, as well. Thankfully we have two sons of my dad's friend volunteer to help with parking. (A reminder to ask them asap!)
Then I rush off to get ready. I'm upset because I forgot to get my dress cleaned and pressed (note to self!) and I'm wearing a black bra that shows a little bit on the top of the dress. Faux pas! Then my makeup and hair artists show up at 2pm when I told them that the wedding was supposed to start at 1. Apparently we moved it back to 3? Anyway, I had already started my makeup and it was all messy and gross, but they help fix it. My bridesmaids are nowhere near ready, and I'm panicked.
*sigh* That was the end of it. I woke up and was relieved that it wasn't my wedding day and we still had plenty of time to figure out these day-of details. Needless to say, I was very motivated to get stuff done this morning.
Last night the wedding was at a really nice, historic estate. Lots of people were there (lots of people that aren't on the invite list, I might add), and a bunch of them were rehearsing to sing at the wedding. My wedding coordinator told me that we were really lucky to have such talented people perform for us. It's true!
Anyway, it's, like, 3 hours before the wedding and I'm running around doing stuff, but a friend comes by and asks for my advice. He apparently just broke up with someone because they weren't going the same direction and he was thinking about dating one of my friends. He asks if I have time to explain what love is...and after thinking about it I tell him that part of love is wanting the best for the other person, no matter what sacrifices you have to make for yourself.
More people come to our wedding than we had planned, so parking is crazy. We end up using not only the regular parking lot, but filling up a nearby parking garage, as well. Thankfully we have two sons of my dad's friend volunteer to help with parking. (A reminder to ask them asap!)
Then I rush off to get ready. I'm upset because I forgot to get my dress cleaned and pressed (note to self!) and I'm wearing a black bra that shows a little bit on the top of the dress. Faux pas! Then my makeup and hair artists show up at 2pm when I told them that the wedding was supposed to start at 1. Apparently we moved it back to 3? Anyway, I had already started my makeup and it was all messy and gross, but they help fix it. My bridesmaids are nowhere near ready, and I'm panicked.
*sigh* That was the end of it. I woke up and was relieved that it wasn't my wedding day and we still had plenty of time to figure out these day-of details. Needless to say, I was very motivated to get stuff done this morning.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Whirlwind trip #2
Our last trip before the big day! I still have plenty of stuff to do when I go back a week before the wedding, but we took care of plenty of things this trip, too.
The California trip started with a trip to the County Clerk's office. We now have less than 90 days to get married! We applied for the license online, and it took all of 10 minutes to get the actual license.
We went to have lunch at our new banquet location, Great Harbor Seafood in Artesia, CA. The food was good (arguably better than the last place?) and the place was big enough but not too big. I think it'll be nice and cozy. It's a good thing that W speaks Mandarin because the woman in charge wouldn't speak to us in English. He was trying to get her to speak English but I told him to just speak to her in Mandarin. Luckily her brother came later and he spoke to us in English. I'm a little embarrassed by my handicap, but really, it just made me feel luckier to have W.
The next morning we tried cake- the banquet place provides cake from a Vietnamese bakery chain called Van's, but last time we tried Van's bakery it wasn't very impressive. We decided to just go with the Chinese bakery chain (Diamond Bakery) and got to taste three different cakes: yellow sponge cake with mango filling, yellow sponge cake with strawberry filling, and coffee cake with coffee cream filling. We decided to go with the safest option (strawberry filling). I'm not really particular about how the cake looks- you'll see when you see the cake at the banquet. It kinda matches my dress...I don't know if that's good or bad.
And then the bridal shower! Oh the bridal shower! I had no idea what to expect, but when I walked in there was a fantastic spread on the table, and a Scrubs theme! Complete with scrub pants, name badges, and music. I loved all the little details that went into it.
The girls had prepared make-your-own spring rolls, which was super yummy and nice cuz it was really interactive.
(my *other* teacher/lawyer/doctor combo- it's funny how I have one from youth group and one from WashU!)
And for dessert, the ever-so-famous Sprinkles cupcakes! They were SO good...W and I had one the next day and it was still really moist and yummy. Better than Magnolia!
No pictures of the gifts except for this one, which included four ribbons that I had to break. Apparently the number of ribbons you break is equivalent to how many kids you'll have. Sorry, W, I broke 5!
Thanks so much gals! I loved all the thought that went into the bridal shower, but I especially loved seeing everyone. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone until I saw them. It made me that much more excited for the wedding day!!!! I feel so loved!
The California trip started with a trip to the County Clerk's office. We now have less than 90 days to get married! We applied for the license online, and it took all of 10 minutes to get the actual license.
We went to have lunch at our new banquet location, Great Harbor Seafood in Artesia, CA. The food was good (arguably better than the last place?) and the place was big enough but not too big. I think it'll be nice and cozy. It's a good thing that W speaks Mandarin because the woman in charge wouldn't speak to us in English. He was trying to get her to speak English but I told him to just speak to her in Mandarin. Luckily her brother came later and he spoke to us in English. I'm a little embarrassed by my handicap, but really, it just made me feel luckier to have W.
The next morning we tried cake- the banquet place provides cake from a Vietnamese bakery chain called Van's, but last time we tried Van's bakery it wasn't very impressive. We decided to just go with the Chinese bakery chain (Diamond Bakery) and got to taste three different cakes: yellow sponge cake with mango filling, yellow sponge cake with strawberry filling, and coffee cake with coffee cream filling. We decided to go with the safest option (strawberry filling). I'm not really particular about how the cake looks- you'll see when you see the cake at the banquet. It kinda matches my dress...I don't know if that's good or bad.
And then the bridal shower! Oh the bridal shower! I had no idea what to expect, but when I walked in there was a fantastic spread on the table, and a Scrubs theme! Complete with scrub pants, name badges, and music. I loved all the little details that went into it.
The girls had prepared make-your-own spring rolls, which was super yummy and nice cuz it was really interactive.
(my *other* teacher/lawyer/doctor combo- it's funny how I have one from youth group and one from WashU!)
And for dessert, the ever-so-famous Sprinkles cupcakes! They were SO good...W and I had one the next day and it was still really moist and yummy. Better than Magnolia!
No pictures of the gifts except for this one, which included four ribbons that I had to break. Apparently the number of ribbons you break is equivalent to how many kids you'll have. Sorry, W, I broke 5!
Thanks so much gals! I loved all the thought that went into the bridal shower, but I especially loved seeing everyone. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone until I saw them. It made me that much more excited for the wedding day!!!! I feel so loved!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Anticipation
I'm in California with W and his sister right now, and I'm getting so antsy! We got our marriage license yesterday (which was really quick thanks to the online form!) and checked out the new banquet site (which we like...we think the food might be better than the last place). We're going cake tasting in a couple minutes at a Chinese bakery since we didn't really like the Vietnamese bakery. Things are moving along.
I think I'm antsy cuz I have no idea what's going on tonight! My bridesmaids are all in town and they're throwing me a bridal shower. My request was to have something low-key and not your typical bridal shower (sitting around, playing games, opening presents). Not that there's anything wrong with typical bridal showers, but they're not very "me." I know whatever it is will be fun, but I hate now knowing what's going on! It's okay...I trust my bridesmaids. The most I've heard is that I have some very "creative" bridesmaids, and it "should be fun" so I'm expecting something crazy. And there will be more than 10 people there. And I may or may not be sleeping over somewhere. I feel like the Friends episode ("The one where they're going to party") when Chandler and Ross have to be prepared for anything and everything when they go party with their friend Gandolf cuz you never know what will happen when you're with him. Better go get a snake-bite kit.
I think I'm antsy cuz I have no idea what's going on tonight! My bridesmaids are all in town and they're throwing me a bridal shower. My request was to have something low-key and not your typical bridal shower (sitting around, playing games, opening presents). Not that there's anything wrong with typical bridal showers, but they're not very "me." I know whatever it is will be fun, but I hate now knowing what's going on! It's okay...I trust my bridesmaids. The most I've heard is that I have some very "creative" bridesmaids, and it "should be fun" so I'm expecting something crazy. And there will be more than 10 people there. And I may or may not be sleeping over somewhere. I feel like the Friends episode ("The one where they're going to party") when Chandler and Ross have to be prepared for anything and everything when they go party with their friend Gandolf cuz you never know what will happen when you're with him. Better go get a snake-bite kit.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
lazy or smart?
Man...back in the day I was so ambitious about wedding stuff. If I had kept that momentum I would probably have a preposterous wedding (including a candy bar, a photo booth, and an In-n-out truck.) Memorable, but over-the-top.
I have to constantly remind myself that we don't have to go into debt to entertain our guests. Truth be told, most of our guests are adults who are capable of finding things to do. I wanted to plan lots of get-togethers, bonfires, bowling nights, Angels games...anything to maximize Southern California resources and my time with my friends. But I've realized that my friends have other friends, too (gasp!) and might not want to spend all that time with me since I'll be so frazzled anyway.
We have less than three months till the wedding, and that means less time to order extra things or give people notice about wedding events. We're frantically working on getting invitations out (did I mention that I'm now gonna make 30 invitations for W's relatives in Taiwan? By hand?) and getting ready for our trip to California this coming week. Man, May flew by! I was thinking "oh, it's fine, we have plenty of time!" but NO. It's our last trip out before I fly out the week before the wedding, so if things can get done, they're going to get done. And if they don't, we might just skip them all together.
Lazy? or smart? I'm thinking lazy now, but maybe not having so many details to worry about will help make that day a little less stressful. Thank goodness for my wedding coordinator...she doesn't want me to think/stress about ANYTHING that day, so I am trying my best to get every detail down so she can take charge. Relinquishing control...that's so not me!
***
In the meantime, it finally hit me the other day that my life is gonna change a lot after we get married. That sounds stupid, but it was all I could think about the other day. I was climbing into bed and then it hit me that soon I'm going to be sharing a bed with someone. And not just anyone, but my husband. And I'm gonna be cooking for him, cleaning OUR house, living with him...none of these are bad things, but it was just a huge reality check. It finally hit me that I'm getting married. It'll be W&T forever! Suddenly I won't just have my time- it'll be OUR time. I have to be selfless ALL the time, even on days where I don't like him or he's made me upset. I didn't get cold feet, but everything just started to set in more. I'm sure premarital counseling will contribute to this as well. Maybe it was just eerie because it seems like it's happening really soon.
I think another part of it was just overall sadness because so many things will be changing this summer. I've been physically preparing for things (like with bridal showers and farewell parties) but it hadn't hit me emotionally and mentally. It feels like graduation, when you know you won't see people anymore cuz everyone's going to do their own thing...except now it's marriage and school and other things that separate us.
***
I had a thought the other day...when we get married, does that bind me to the East Coast? Do I lose my privileges as a West Coaster?
I have to constantly remind myself that we don't have to go into debt to entertain our guests. Truth be told, most of our guests are adults who are capable of finding things to do. I wanted to plan lots of get-togethers, bonfires, bowling nights, Angels games...anything to maximize Southern California resources and my time with my friends. But I've realized that my friends have other friends, too (gasp!) and might not want to spend all that time with me since I'll be so frazzled anyway.
We have less than three months till the wedding, and that means less time to order extra things or give people notice about wedding events. We're frantically working on getting invitations out (did I mention that I'm now gonna make 30 invitations for W's relatives in Taiwan? By hand?) and getting ready for our trip to California this coming week. Man, May flew by! I was thinking "oh, it's fine, we have plenty of time!" but NO. It's our last trip out before I fly out the week before the wedding, so if things can get done, they're going to get done. And if they don't, we might just skip them all together.
Lazy? or smart? I'm thinking lazy now, but maybe not having so many details to worry about will help make that day a little less stressful. Thank goodness for my wedding coordinator...she doesn't want me to think/stress about ANYTHING that day, so I am trying my best to get every detail down so she can take charge. Relinquishing control...that's so not me!
***
In the meantime, it finally hit me the other day that my life is gonna change a lot after we get married. That sounds stupid, but it was all I could think about the other day. I was climbing into bed and then it hit me that soon I'm going to be sharing a bed with someone. And not just anyone, but my husband. And I'm gonna be cooking for him, cleaning OUR house, living with him...none of these are bad things, but it was just a huge reality check. It finally hit me that I'm getting married. It'll be W&T forever! Suddenly I won't just have my time- it'll be OUR time. I have to be selfless ALL the time, even on days where I don't like him or he's made me upset. I didn't get cold feet, but everything just started to set in more. I'm sure premarital counseling will contribute to this as well. Maybe it was just eerie because it seems like it's happening really soon.
I think another part of it was just overall sadness because so many things will be changing this summer. I've been physically preparing for things (like with bridal showers and farewell parties) but it hadn't hit me emotionally and mentally. It feels like graduation, when you know you won't see people anymore cuz everyone's going to do their own thing...except now it's marriage and school and other things that separate us.
***
I had a thought the other day...when we get married, does that bind me to the East Coast? Do I lose my privileges as a West Coaster?
Monday, May 12, 2008
a helpful dream
I know most wedding dreams are usually nightmares, but I had a really helpful dream last night. Bear with me:
For some reason we're getting married at a retreat center and having the dinner catered by a Chinese restaurant in the dining hall (this is my second wedding dream that happened in a retreat center in the woods...what does that mean?) Anyway, I'm all dressed to go but I realize:
1) My ex somehow made his way to our wedding. I see him in the hall when I'm on my way to the restroom to get ready and I'm upset. We don't interact, but I'm just mad that he had the gall to show up.
2) I forgot my earrings- luckily my wedding coordinator has an extra pair, but I only put on one of the earrings.
I walk down the aisle, and then all of a sudden I have an out-of-body experience! Instead of experiencing the wedding from the altar, I'm watching my wedding from the back corner. Memorable moments include: my dad leading worship, my dad having a scroll of our genealogy that's shaped like a bowling pin, our "thank you" to the parents being very sterile (like, we just bow, we don't hug them or anything), W's parents suddenly being Korean, and people crying during the wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding I talked to my coordinator and she says we can do it over, which makes sense to me because we never had a rehearsal. She gives me a list of things to remember, like:
1) Making sure I'm hydrated
2) Having folding chairs up front for the flower girls
3) Bringing my earrings
4) Brushing my teeth and mouth beforehand so my breath isn't gross
We try to coordinate when we can have the "actual wedding" and it has to be later that day or even the next day cuz we have to coordinate it around the banquet. But just as we're ending it starts raining and rain starts pouring into the sanctuary we were using. W and I make our way to the dining hall for the banquet and he tells me that my ex talked to him, they're on good terms, and he just happened to be in town for something else...he wasn't there to crash.
So random! I just had to write that down before I forgot all the details. Time to go to work.
For some reason we're getting married at a retreat center and having the dinner catered by a Chinese restaurant in the dining hall (this is my second wedding dream that happened in a retreat center in the woods...what does that mean?) Anyway, I'm all dressed to go but I realize:
1) My ex somehow made his way to our wedding. I see him in the hall when I'm on my way to the restroom to get ready and I'm upset. We don't interact, but I'm just mad that he had the gall to show up.
2) I forgot my earrings- luckily my wedding coordinator has an extra pair, but I only put on one of the earrings.
I walk down the aisle, and then all of a sudden I have an out-of-body experience! Instead of experiencing the wedding from the altar, I'm watching my wedding from the back corner. Memorable moments include: my dad leading worship, my dad having a scroll of our genealogy that's shaped like a bowling pin, our "thank you" to the parents being very sterile (like, we just bow, we don't hug them or anything), W's parents suddenly being Korean, and people crying during the wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding I talked to my coordinator and she says we can do it over, which makes sense to me because we never had a rehearsal. She gives me a list of things to remember, like:
1) Making sure I'm hydrated
2) Having folding chairs up front for the flower girls
3) Bringing my earrings
4) Brushing my teeth and mouth beforehand so my breath isn't gross
We try to coordinate when we can have the "actual wedding" and it has to be later that day or even the next day cuz we have to coordinate it around the banquet. But just as we're ending it starts raining and rain starts pouring into the sanctuary we were using. W and I make our way to the dining hall for the banquet and he tells me that my ex talked to him, they're on good terms, and he just happened to be in town for something else...he wasn't there to crash.
So random! I just had to write that down before I forgot all the details. Time to go to work.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
crunch time
I can't believe we have three months to go. Sometimes that feels like a long time, but most of the time it feels like it's too short. We just figured out that we have to make some kind of invitation in Chinese so W's relatives from Taiwan can apply for visas, and we finalized the new banquet location. I think. I left that up to my mom, so I should probably follow up on it sometime. We have to finalize the wording for our English invitations, too.
I got to see my bridesmaid dresses! My brother was in town so he brought Olivia's dress...it's WAY too big for her (trust me, Liv, it's gonna need some major alterations), but the color is exactly what we wanted. It looks really dark, but you can tell it's navy blue. I don't know what the rest of you girls think, but I think they look fine. I hope they're comfortable, too.
We'll be in California May 21-25, and while we're there we have to meet with my pastor, meet with our wedding coordinator, get fitted for my qipao, get our marriage license, go to my bridal shower, get my makeup trial done...goodness. I need to start prepping and make a huge list of things so we don't forget any important things.
On a less serious and frantic note, there's gonna be a rate change right when we send out our invitations. 42 cents! It's not that big of a deal, but the 42 cent stamps are not wedding appropriate!
Okay, the Minnesota one isn't bad, but we're not from Minnesota. SO WEIRD. Why couldn't they make pretty stamps like the flowers or doves or whatever? I could always get the old ones and add 1 cent stamps, but that's too much work. I think my laziness is starting to make a lot of decisions for me.
I got to see my bridesmaid dresses! My brother was in town so he brought Olivia's dress...it's WAY too big for her (trust me, Liv, it's gonna need some major alterations), but the color is exactly what we wanted. It looks really dark, but you can tell it's navy blue. I don't know what the rest of you girls think, but I think they look fine. I hope they're comfortable, too.
We'll be in California May 21-25, and while we're there we have to meet with my pastor, meet with our wedding coordinator, get fitted for my qipao, get our marriage license, go to my bridal shower, get my makeup trial done...goodness. I need to start prepping and make a huge list of things so we don't forget any important things.
On a less serious and frantic note, there's gonna be a rate change right when we send out our invitations. 42 cents! It's not that big of a deal, but the 42 cent stamps are not wedding appropriate!
Okay, the Minnesota one isn't bad, but we're not from Minnesota. SO WEIRD. Why couldn't they make pretty stamps like the flowers or doves or whatever? I could always get the old ones and add 1 cent stamps, but that's too much work. I think my laziness is starting to make a lot of decisions for me.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
the truth
Are people still willing to tell me the truth?
I feel like when it comes to weddings everyone knows not to mess with the bride. If the bride says something, DO IT. Do not argue with her, do not try and make things difficult for her, just do it.
But what if what I'm asking for is unbelievably unreasonable? What if it'll cost three times as much to do it that way as opposed to what was originally planned? What if it's a really bad idea?
W is good about being honest with me (he's shot down several ideas for the reception, which in retrospect weren't fantastic ideas to begin with) and several other friends have as well. I'm hoping that this is the trend so far- that yes, I'm a crazy bride, but I'm also a reasonable one. And I'd rather hear the truth than have something sugar-coated for me. You all can spread that rumor.
I'm not sure if that applies for the day of the wedding though...maybe that's the one time where I'm okay not knowing the whole truth. =) I'm kidding. Or, well, we'll see.
I feel like when it comes to weddings everyone knows not to mess with the bride. If the bride says something, DO IT. Do not argue with her, do not try and make things difficult for her, just do it.
But what if what I'm asking for is unbelievably unreasonable? What if it'll cost three times as much to do it that way as opposed to what was originally planned? What if it's a really bad idea?
W is good about being honest with me (he's shot down several ideas for the reception, which in retrospect weren't fantastic ideas to begin with) and several other friends have as well. I'm hoping that this is the trend so far- that yes, I'm a crazy bride, but I'm also a reasonable one. And I'd rather hear the truth than have something sugar-coated for me. You all can spread that rumor.
I'm not sure if that applies for the day of the wedding though...maybe that's the one time where I'm okay not knowing the whole truth. =) I'm kidding. Or, well, we'll see.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
My parents rock
Thanks so much for thinking of us and praying for us! Even though I'm sad we don't get the banquet hall with the ginormous dance floor, I'm thankful that it's not the WEDDING that's called off. I know we'll have a great time with everyone there, no matter where we are.
Seafood Palace sent us a formal letter to tell us that the banquet hall was closed, and they'll refund our deposit (whew!). My parents have been on the prowl for a new place...we have some good candidates, but they'd all require some compromises. One place has an awesome banquet menu but only seats 270, and the other can seat 300-400 people but the food sounds similar to Seafood Palace's menu (not true Chinese- more of a Vietnamese/Cambodian influence.)
I'm sooooo grateful that my parents are willing and able to look for a new site for us. Granted, they get to try food at all these restaurants, but still...they were really calm about it when I told them (even though I was on the verge of tears) and they're really positive that we'll be able to find a place even though it's almost May. Props to my sister, too, who called to make sure I was okay when she found out about the banquet hall. I've been at work the past couple days so I haven't been able to help with this process. Besides the fact that I'm on the East Coast- if I had a block of days off I would probably fly out to California to help, but things are getting way too busy over here.
In retrospect, Seafood Palace was still a great choice...I didn't have to worry about champagne, the cake, colors for decorations...everything was more or less provided. Once we decide on a place there'll be lots more decisions to make, but luckily we'll be out there Memorial Day weekend to take care of some of that. We're less than four months away!
Seafood Palace sent us a formal letter to tell us that the banquet hall was closed, and they'll refund our deposit (whew!). My parents have been on the prowl for a new place...we have some good candidates, but they'd all require some compromises. One place has an awesome banquet menu but only seats 270, and the other can seat 300-400 people but the food sounds similar to Seafood Palace's menu (not true Chinese- more of a Vietnamese/Cambodian influence.)
I'm sooooo grateful that my parents are willing and able to look for a new site for us. Granted, they get to try food at all these restaurants, but still...they were really calm about it when I told them (even though I was on the verge of tears) and they're really positive that we'll be able to find a place even though it's almost May. Props to my sister, too, who called to make sure I was okay when she found out about the banquet hall. I've been at work the past couple days so I haven't been able to help with this process. Besides the fact that I'm on the East Coast- if I had a block of days off I would probably fly out to California to help, but things are getting way too busy over here.
In retrospect, Seafood Palace was still a great choice...I didn't have to worry about champagne, the cake, colors for decorations...everything was more or less provided. Once we decide on a place there'll be lots more decisions to make, but luckily we'll be out there Memorial Day weekend to take care of some of that. We're less than four months away!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
!!!???$#%!?!?
WE LOST OUR BANQUET SPACE.
The coordinator at Seafood Palace said they're closing down their banquet location on July 31. Thankfully (W pointed this out, I obviously saw no good in this situation) they're able to save the date at their first location (Seafood Palace #1, which is your typical Chinese restaurant.)
I'm so upset right now, but luckily W's staying calm...we're looking up other places in OC or nearby that might be able to accommodate us on short notice. Our default is Seafood Palace #1, but at least now we have a chance to look for a place with better food. If that's even possible in this short a time.
HOLY FRICK. I am not happy. And I'm crazy tired from work, so that's twice as bad.
The coordinator at Seafood Palace said they're closing down their banquet location on July 31. Thankfully (W pointed this out, I obviously saw no good in this situation) they're able to save the date at their first location (Seafood Palace #1, which is your typical Chinese restaurant.)
I'm so upset right now, but luckily W's staying calm...we're looking up other places in OC or nearby that might be able to accommodate us on short notice. Our default is Seafood Palace #1, but at least now we have a chance to look for a place with better food. If that's even possible in this short a time.
HOLY FRICK. I am not happy. And I'm crazy tired from work, so that's twice as bad.
Monday, April 21, 2008
I before E
We had our first official pre-marital counseling session this weekend in New Jersey. It's slightly inconvenient to have to travel that far, but it's nice because it gives us time in the car to talk about things. We've been dating for quite awhile (almost 4 years!) so we weren't too surprised by each other's answers, but it was still good to flesh things out.
It's funny how you can talk about things in theory, but it's very different when you're actually faced with a situation. Pre-marital counseling is good preparation, but will we do everything we hoped to do when faced with an argument?
Oddly enough, while we were working on invitations tonight one of our major differences came to light: I am extroverted while W is very introverted. He doesn't like being the center of attention and talking with lots and lots of people wears him out. I love being the center of attention and I'm glad we're inviting a lot of people to the wedding because I want to share the joy with everyone.
Obviously I can't have a 10-person wedding, so what are ways that I can accommodate my introverted fiance? I know that day is going to be really tiring, so we're trying to space things out a little. I know the couple's attitude and mood can set the tone for the entire wedding, so I want both of us to be as happy and carefree as possible. Any suggestions are welcome!
It's funny how you can talk about things in theory, but it's very different when you're actually faced with a situation. Pre-marital counseling is good preparation, but will we do everything we hoped to do when faced with an argument?
Oddly enough, while we were working on invitations tonight one of our major differences came to light: I am extroverted while W is very introverted. He doesn't like being the center of attention and talking with lots and lots of people wears him out. I love being the center of attention and I'm glad we're inviting a lot of people to the wedding because I want to share the joy with everyone.
Obviously I can't have a 10-person wedding, so what are ways that I can accommodate my introverted fiance? I know that day is going to be really tiring, so we're trying to space things out a little. I know the couple's attitude and mood can set the tone for the entire wedding, so I want both of us to be as happy and carefree as possible. Any suggestions are welcome!
Monday, April 14, 2008
sorry, no can do
Our guest list is enormous. I told my cousin that I wanted the invitations to be simple, which she was fine with, but when she found out that we're inviting 500 people to the wedding she was like, "OH! No wonder you wanna keep it simple!" Yes. We're crazy. Our wedding is gonna be madness.
We sent out the save-the-date, and we've already found out that some people won't be able to make it (due to pregnancy, missions training, or school.) My question: Do we still send invitations to these people? Etiquette that I've learned is that if you get an invitation but don't attend you still need to send a gift. I don't want the people that can't make it to feel obligated to send a gift, especially because we knew well in advance that they wouldn't be able to make it. BUT I don't want to skip sending them an invitation just because they can't go. Is that weird? What's the right thing to do in this situation?
We sent out the save-the-date, and we've already found out that some people won't be able to make it (due to pregnancy, missions training, or school.) My question: Do we still send invitations to these people? Etiquette that I've learned is that if you get an invitation but don't attend you still need to send a gift. I don't want the people that can't make it to feel obligated to send a gift, especially because we knew well in advance that they wouldn't be able to make it. BUT I don't want to skip sending them an invitation just because they can't go. Is that weird? What's the right thing to do in this situation?
Saturday, April 12, 2008
no fighting
W and I finally had a date night where we didn't discuss any wedding stuff. We didn't explicitly say so, but I did my very best not to mention the wedding at all. Mission accomplished! We just sat and talked over beers at Watch City Brewery Co. in Waltham. (By beers I mean I drank 1/3 of mine and he drank his and 1/3 of mine.)
Anyway, he asked, "Is it weird that we don't fight very much?" It's true- generally we don't fight. We get frustrated with each other and we voice those frustrations, but we rarely fight. I wasn't that concerned about it cuz I know that in due time we'll more than make up for these years where we didn't fight much...but after thinking about it a little I'm more concerned.
I attribute some of this to the nature of my job. It's not in my best interest to fight with a patient or co-worker (a doctor, maybe, but only if I have to advocate for something and even then it's not really a fight.) In fact, I always have to try and be the better person. I have to consider what the patient/family member is going through and even if I don't agree I have to try to accommodate them so they feel like we did our best to care for them. I'll be confrontational when I have to be, but I won't pick fights.
I tend to do this with W. I could just as easily get upset about lots of little things, but I usually try and consider where he's coming from first and think about whether or not it's worth getting mad. I know this is all well and good, but am I laying the foundation for something disastrous? Like, should I let myself be upset about the little things when I'm feeling upset so he knows that I'm irked? Is he going to always expect me to be rational and considerate of him even when I'm the one who feels wronged?
Don't get me wrong...I'm not going to be upset just for the sake of being upset and fighting. I'm just wondering if I'm gonna be able to maintain this level of patience when we're married. I'm guessing I won't because 1) I'll have to do it at work and it's tiring to do it all the time...sometimes I just want to be selfish and 2) we'll be living together, and there won't always be time to think about how I'm feeling or what's really going on in the situation. Oh and 3) because I'm sinful. And human.
I know this is one of many things we'll address in premarital counseling but it's one of those things that makes me cringe...mostly because I hate fighting. But I know that it's something that helps us learn about each other and eventually draws us closer. W hates fighting with me, too (I thought it was really sweet when he said that.) He seems to have a better grasp of reality when it comes to how things are gonna be when we're actually married while I seem to be in this cloud of almost-wedded-bliss.
Anyway, he asked, "Is it weird that we don't fight very much?" It's true- generally we don't fight. We get frustrated with each other and we voice those frustrations, but we rarely fight. I wasn't that concerned about it cuz I know that in due time we'll more than make up for these years where we didn't fight much...but after thinking about it a little I'm more concerned.
I attribute some of this to the nature of my job. It's not in my best interest to fight with a patient or co-worker (a doctor, maybe, but only if I have to advocate for something and even then it's not really a fight.) In fact, I always have to try and be the better person. I have to consider what the patient/family member is going through and even if I don't agree I have to try to accommodate them so they feel like we did our best to care for them. I'll be confrontational when I have to be, but I won't pick fights.
I tend to do this with W. I could just as easily get upset about lots of little things, but I usually try and consider where he's coming from first and think about whether or not it's worth getting mad. I know this is all well and good, but am I laying the foundation for something disastrous? Like, should I let myself be upset about the little things when I'm feeling upset so he knows that I'm irked? Is he going to always expect me to be rational and considerate of him even when I'm the one who feels wronged?
Don't get me wrong...I'm not going to be upset just for the sake of being upset and fighting. I'm just wondering if I'm gonna be able to maintain this level of patience when we're married. I'm guessing I won't because 1) I'll have to do it at work and it's tiring to do it all the time...sometimes I just want to be selfish and 2) we'll be living together, and there won't always be time to think about how I'm feeling or what's really going on in the situation. Oh and 3) because I'm sinful. And human.
I know this is one of many things we'll address in premarital counseling but it's one of those things that makes me cringe...mostly because I hate fighting. But I know that it's something that helps us learn about each other and eventually draws us closer. W hates fighting with me, too (I thought it was really sweet when he said that.) He seems to have a better grasp of reality when it comes to how things are gonna be when we're actually married while I seem to be in this cloud of almost-wedded-bliss.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
survey says...
Thanks for the input! No paper flowers...I'm relieved cuz I didn't really feel like making all those.
Now we just have to figure out how to use ribbons or tulle to decorate the aisles. A couple options:
The Martha Stewart ribbon garland...which would obviously not be in Christmas colors
Simple tulle with a center flower...this might be a little tricky because our pews are shaped weird.
I like this one the best, but our wedding is at 1pm, so I don't know if it'd have the same ambiance.
Gross alert:
I think being engaged has heightened my appreciation for flowers...all of the sudden I want to plant things, look at flowers, receive flowers. Normally I could care less (cuz they all die under my care) but lately even the sight of flowers can make my heart flutter a little. I have no idea why.
I was thinking about being upfront with W and asking him to surprise me with flowers sometime...but I wanted to sit on it more and see how I really felt about it. I went to work after thinking about it for a little bit.
Work was pretty standard and around 230pm I got a chance to eat lunch...and while I was stuffing my face the door of the breakroom opened and W was there! I was so shocked cuz I wasn't expecting him at all...and what's more, he brought me a surprise:
Cookies! One was a chocolate dipped shortbread cookie (shaped like a heart, aww) and the other was a chocolate sandwich cookie with mint cream in the middle. It totally made my day cuz I was craving a surprise and I was really sad that I couldn't spend that Saturday with him. It was a great reminder of his thoughtfulness...one of the many reasons why I'm marrying him.
As for the flowers...well, I think I'll be just fine. I think W knows me better than I know myself.
Now we just have to figure out how to use ribbons or tulle to decorate the aisles. A couple options:
The Martha Stewart ribbon garland...which would obviously not be in Christmas colorsSimple tulle with a center flower...this might be a little tricky because our pews are shaped weird.I like this one the best, but our wedding is at 1pm, so I don't know if it'd have the same ambiance.Gross alert:
I think being engaged has heightened my appreciation for flowers...all of the sudden I want to plant things, look at flowers, receive flowers. Normally I could care less (cuz they all die under my care) but lately even the sight of flowers can make my heart flutter a little. I have no idea why.
I was thinking about being upfront with W and asking him to surprise me with flowers sometime...but I wanted to sit on it more and see how I really felt about it. I went to work after thinking about it for a little bit.
Work was pretty standard and around 230pm I got a chance to eat lunch...and while I was stuffing my face the door of the breakroom opened and W was there! I was so shocked cuz I wasn't expecting him at all...and what's more, he brought me a surprise:
Cookies! One was a chocolate dipped shortbread cookie (shaped like a heart, aww) and the other was a chocolate sandwich cookie with mint cream in the middle. It totally made my day cuz I was craving a surprise and I was really sad that I couldn't spend that Saturday with him. It was a great reminder of his thoughtfulness...one of the many reasons why I'm marrying him.
As for the flowers...well, I think I'll be just fine. I think W knows me better than I know myself.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
the sisterhood
There's a new trend where women have their best guy friends stand on their side instead of/in addition to bridesmaids. Back in high school I might have been interested in that idea, but now I'm thinking, "Why would you have a guy when girls are so much more fun?"
Exhibit A: making my married bridesmaids model accessories for the wedding.
Seriously though...back when I thought girls and guys could be friends and it wouldn't get messy I was all about having guy friends. Thankfully I realized that platonic guy/girl friendships are a sham, and having close girl friends was a million times better than being some boy's "little sister" or "best friend." (That is, until he's willing to commit to being my best friend forever.)
Throughout this whole wedding planning process I've been reminded over and over how good it is to have good girl friends. I can talk about wedding stuff with guys, but their perspective will always be different. They don't have to think about changing their last names. They don't have to "leave" their families. They generally don't care about all the details of the reception. They don't obsess over whether or not they chose the right dress. They just don't understand, because the weight of the wedding is almost always put on the women.
Women KNOW. Even when we're not dating we have things in mind...or we see things we like and stick them in folders "for much later." We are aware of this huge undertaking because it's our responsibility. A couple weeks ago I was feeling really burdened by that fact, but lately I've been feeling empowered. I think it's an interesting model of how I hope our married relationship will be: right now, he trusts me to make decisions for us, but I try to consider what's best for him first. When we're married it'll be vice versa.
My graphic-designer cousin emailed to ask us about the invitations that she'll be designing and I started to freak out because we didn't have anything concrete to tell her. I thought up one thing but W didn't really like it, so it was back to the drawing board. W got frustrated because I was getting so caught up in all the details of it when he felt like no one would really care what the invitation looked like. I got frustrated because I care what it looks like!
Once I called my cousin and talked with her we came up with something that could work pretty well. It's funny cuz the first thing she suggested was the design that I originally came up with- so it was reassuring that we were on the same page. In the end, all of the discussions W and I had about the invitations today were really helpful because it helped me get a picture of what he wanted, even though he claimed not to care. It was such a relief to talk to her and get on the same page...and really, it was just fun to talk with her since she's my only first cousin who's married. It's fun to share that bond. =)
Exhibit A: making my married bridesmaids model accessories for the wedding.
Seriously though...back when I thought girls and guys could be friends and it wouldn't get messy I was all about having guy friends. Thankfully I realized that platonic guy/girl friendships are a sham, and having close girl friends was a million times better than being some boy's "little sister" or "best friend." (That is, until he's willing to commit to being my best friend forever.)
Throughout this whole wedding planning process I've been reminded over and over how good it is to have good girl friends. I can talk about wedding stuff with guys, but their perspective will always be different. They don't have to think about changing their last names. They don't have to "leave" their families. They generally don't care about all the details of the reception. They don't obsess over whether or not they chose the right dress. They just don't understand, because the weight of the wedding is almost always put on the women.
Women KNOW. Even when we're not dating we have things in mind...or we see things we like and stick them in folders "for much later." We are aware of this huge undertaking because it's our responsibility. A couple weeks ago I was feeling really burdened by that fact, but lately I've been feeling empowered. I think it's an interesting model of how I hope our married relationship will be: right now, he trusts me to make decisions for us, but I try to consider what's best for him first. When we're married it'll be vice versa.
My graphic-designer cousin emailed to ask us about the invitations that she'll be designing and I started to freak out because we didn't have anything concrete to tell her. I thought up one thing but W didn't really like it, so it was back to the drawing board. W got frustrated because I was getting so caught up in all the details of it when he felt like no one would really care what the invitation looked like. I got frustrated because I care what it looks like!
Once I called my cousin and talked with her we came up with something that could work pretty well. It's funny cuz the first thing she suggested was the design that I originally came up with- so it was reassuring that we were on the same page. In the end, all of the discussions W and I had about the invitations today were really helpful because it helped me get a picture of what he wanted, even though he claimed not to care. It was such a relief to talk to her and get on the same page...and really, it was just fun to talk with her since she's my only first cousin who's married. It's fun to share that bond. =)
Friday, April 4, 2008
are we fancy?
The Sunday before I left California I had a tasting with Fresch Concepts. My brother and sister graciously agreed to come along and sample the food that they were preparing for us.
Fresch Concepts consists of 2 women in their 30's: pharmacists by trade, event planners/caterers as their alter egos! They're Asian but use European and American influences.
Homemade strawberry and mango sorbet in an ice bowl, tomato bisque, caesar salad spring rolls, and roasted sausage skewers! Yum.
The food was delish, and I really liked Mai and Annie. We ended up booking them, but we're asking them to make the menu more Asian than European. We care a lot more about the food being yummy than being super fancy. I know we're having Asian food all week, but we can't help it- we love Asian food! Korean BBQ for the rehearsal, Vietnamese for the reception, and Chinese for the banquet. Don't say we didn't feed you well on this trip.
Mai is supposed to come up with a sample menu for us...I can't wait to see it! I just have to make sure the rest of the reception hall follows suit in terms of decorations, atmosphere, etc.
Speaking of which- we decided to not spend thousands of dollars on flowers because, well, we don't really care. We agree that flowers are a nice touch, but we don't have the budget to spend a lot of money to decorate. We bought flowers for the basics (bouquet, boutinierres, etc.) but we didn't get anything to decorate the aisles or the fellowship hall for the reception.
I'm gonna pour through some magazines for reception ideas, but I thought of this for the aisles:
Tissue paper flowers!! Thank you, Martha Stewart.
So here's the question: Are tissue paper flowers cheap looking? Martha's actually look pretty good (they looked stunning on the cover of one of her magazines), so I'd venture to say that they'd be fine for aisle decorations. I'd just make small bouquets for each aisle and then maybe use some kind of ribbon or tulle to connect them. The other cheaper/less time consuming alternative would be to use big ribbons:
Part of me feels like I owe this wedding some sort of do-it-yourself project, but another part of me is wondering how much I'll actually care about what the aisle looks like. I care more about the guy at the end of the aisle! Input please!! If I end up making flowers I'll need to start soon...or I can have a flower-making sweatshop the week before the wedding.
Fresch Concepts consists of 2 women in their 30's: pharmacists by trade, event planners/caterers as their alter egos! They're Asian but use European and American influences.
Homemade strawberry and mango sorbet in an ice bowl, tomato bisque, caesar salad spring rolls, and roasted sausage skewers! Yum.
The food was delish, and I really liked Mai and Annie. We ended up booking them, but we're asking them to make the menu more Asian than European. We care a lot more about the food being yummy than being super fancy. I know we're having Asian food all week, but we can't help it- we love Asian food! Korean BBQ for the rehearsal, Vietnamese for the reception, and Chinese for the banquet. Don't say we didn't feed you well on this trip.
Mai is supposed to come up with a sample menu for us...I can't wait to see it! I just have to make sure the rest of the reception hall follows suit in terms of decorations, atmosphere, etc.
Speaking of which- we decided to not spend thousands of dollars on flowers because, well, we don't really care. We agree that flowers are a nice touch, but we don't have the budget to spend a lot of money to decorate. We bought flowers for the basics (bouquet, boutinierres, etc.) but we didn't get anything to decorate the aisles or the fellowship hall for the reception.
I'm gonna pour through some magazines for reception ideas, but I thought of this for the aisles:
Tissue paper flowers!! Thank you, Martha Stewart.
So here's the question: Are tissue paper flowers cheap looking? Martha's actually look pretty good (they looked stunning on the cover of one of her magazines), so I'd venture to say that they'd be fine for aisle decorations. I'd just make small bouquets for each aisle and then maybe use some kind of ribbon or tulle to connect them. The other cheaper/less time consuming alternative would be to use big ribbons:
Part of me feels like I owe this wedding some sort of do-it-yourself project, but another part of me is wondering how much I'll actually care about what the aisle looks like. I care more about the guy at the end of the aisle! Input please!! If I end up making flowers I'll need to start soon...or I can have a flower-making sweatshop the week before the wedding.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Dear California
Thank you for being beautiful.
love,
T
Anaheim has become significantly prettier in the last 8 years. I wanted to find a place that was close to church but interesting enough to take formal shots. Hopefully the weather is just as gorgeous that day! The day I went to check places out there was a cute little street fair...I had this really yummy fruit salad (Mexican style? With coconut, granola, and walnuts on top) which was perfect since I didn't want a heavy lunch.
Can you believe these pictures are by Anaheim City Hall? Across the street they opened a museum and they're in the process of building a courtyard with fountains and stuff. Hopefully they'll be done by August so we can take pictures there! One good tip from some brides who have had photojournalist-type photographers: make sure to ask for some formal shots of the bride and groom, family, etc. Someone I talked to this weekend said she didn't have any normal shots of her and her husband! I hope my photographer doesn't get mad at me for being so demanding, but I have a LOT of shots I'd love her to take.
***
OC, you can't repeat any of this to anyone!
I spent the entire day with my future mother-in-law because she wanted to find her dress for the wedding. At first I thought it was going to be just one stop at a shop near my workplace, but W warned me this morning that she wanted to go all over Eastern Massachusetts. Luckily my schedule was clear, so when the time came I was prepared. We ended up covering a lot of ground (went to Wayside Commons, then to Filene's Basement in Needham, then the Chestnut Hill Mall, and then the Burlington Mall) and finally found something at Lord and Taylor at the Burlington Mall. She had seen the dress awhile back and hadn't tried it on, so I told her to try it on...and it fit beautifully! I was really happy with the choice, and I think she was too even though it was a little expensive. I think it's worth it cuz the material is really flowy and wrinkle-free, which will be nice for that day. She bought it, but she'll keep her eyes open in Taiwan in case she sees something she likes more.
For the most part I get along with my FMIL. We don't always think the same way, but I think there's mutual respect. However, despite the comfort level, I'm still always so nervous about making her upset, saying something inappropriate, or that deep down inside she's not really sure if she likes me. She's not a volatile person by any means, but I know that the language barrier and the fact that I'm a 3rd generation Chinese-American work against me. I'm taking measures to improve my Mandarin, but I can't do anything about the fact that I don't think the same way as my future in-laws. Their concerns for us are always legitimate (weight, making sure we have pre-marital counseling taken care of, money, etc.) so I know they're looking out for us, but it takes me a minute to remember that they're not criticizing us. Or, I think they're not...
Maybe that's what bothers me sometimes- when people act like I'm not capable of making a good decision. I know I'm only 25, but I like to think that I'm sensible. (BTW, I'm totally guilty of doing this to some of you, so forgive me for being so overbearing. I'll work on it.) I was trying to figure out the whole cause-and-effect cycle and this is what I came up with:
1. I don't keep the person informed about any decisions/important events
2. The person realizes she doesn't know any information about decisions/important events
3. The person thinks that I might not have thought about any details re: d/ie
4. Person asks me lots of detailed questions about d/ie
5. I get defensive because I feel like the person thinks that I haven't put any thought into d/ie
Granted, there are things that I haven't thought about yet, and that will either 1) be a good reminder or 2) stress me out because I haven't looked into it and it's another thing to add to my list. But regardless, I think the solution to this problem is to keep people informed as much as possible. Maybe not every little detail (especially since I'm trying to pull off some surprises), but enough so that they know this wedding is in good hands. And enough so that W's parents know their son is in good, capable hands. =)
I was really flattered the other day because a friend called and asked W how wedding plans were going and W responded: "It's been going well...T's a superstar, so it's been going pretty smoothly." It made me feel appreciated and very happy because I know that he trusts me with this task. I think in general, our parents trust me to make plans that are best for everyone...but they just want to be in the loop. Just wait until they get their 2-inch three-ring binders with the entire wedding laid out in multiple spreadsheets! Mua ha.
Just kidding. Or am I?
(That's brilliant! And there can be boxes that can be checked off once things are completed...holy cow. I should take a week off work just to make these.)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
i'm so excited!
Did you look at the title and think of Jessie Spanos from Saved by the Bell? If so, I'm certain we will be lifelong friends.
W has been really great about wedding stuff after I talked to him about taking more initative. He's pretty much trusting me to run point on the wedding and he'll take care of things whenever I ask him to do something. This week I made us both wedding to-do lists and we got most of the stuff done...and some stuff that wasn't even on the list! We ordered our wedding bands and tuxes this afternoon.
Ladies- guys have it so easy. We went to Men's Wearhouse for tuxes a few weeks ago with W's best man, and the whole time I was appalled at how easy it is for them. The limited amount of choices makes it SO much simpler. And plus, they could have bought suits for everyone for just a little more than the price of renting a tux! And they can totally wear suits again! Ridiculous. I was so enraged. (Only because boys have it so easy in this whole wedding process.)
We were originally gonna go with suits instead of tuxes, and after we made that tentative decision I panicked because I already bought W those cufflinks. I frantically emailed his BM who assured me that I'd be able to figure something out. The more I thought about it though, the more I just wanted the guys to be formal and wear tuxes. Lucky for me the suit thing fell through and W decided to go with tuxes. Whew! My non-refundable purchase was not in vain.
Next obstacle: convincing W's dad to wear a tux. He doesn't ever like to dress up, so we're gonna have to be clever to make it happen. We could just have the dads wear suits, but from my recollection I don't think he or my dad have suits that are formal/fancy enough. Any suggestions would be appreciated! The best I could come up with is having his tux be the free tux that we're getting with our rental.
My excitement grows more and more each week! Whenever we make decisions I get giddy. I'm so thrilled to have our friends and family be part of our big day! My vendors and helpers have been SO fantastic...I love that they're detail-oriented and readily available to communicate through email. So fetch.
Sorry I've been slacking in posting. And so far the entries haven't been very deep...mostly weddingbee-style entries about details. I'll try to make this more personal and less vague.
W has been really great about wedding stuff after I talked to him about taking more initative. He's pretty much trusting me to run point on the wedding and he'll take care of things whenever I ask him to do something. This week I made us both wedding to-do lists and we got most of the stuff done...and some stuff that wasn't even on the list! We ordered our wedding bands and tuxes this afternoon.
Ladies- guys have it so easy. We went to Men's Wearhouse for tuxes a few weeks ago with W's best man, and the whole time I was appalled at how easy it is for them. The limited amount of choices makes it SO much simpler. And plus, they could have bought suits for everyone for just a little more than the price of renting a tux! And they can totally wear suits again! Ridiculous. I was so enraged. (Only because boys have it so easy in this whole wedding process.)
We were originally gonna go with suits instead of tuxes, and after we made that tentative decision I panicked because I already bought W those cufflinks. I frantically emailed his BM who assured me that I'd be able to figure something out. The more I thought about it though, the more I just wanted the guys to be formal and wear tuxes. Lucky for me the suit thing fell through and W decided to go with tuxes. Whew! My non-refundable purchase was not in vain.
Next obstacle: convincing W's dad to wear a tux. He doesn't ever like to dress up, so we're gonna have to be clever to make it happen. We could just have the dads wear suits, but from my recollection I don't think he or my dad have suits that are formal/fancy enough. Any suggestions would be appreciated! The best I could come up with is having his tux be the free tux that we're getting with our rental.
My excitement grows more and more each week! Whenever we make decisions I get giddy. I'm so thrilled to have our friends and family be part of our big day! My vendors and helpers have been SO fantastic...I love that they're detail-oriented and readily available to communicate through email. So fetch.
Sorry I've been slacking in posting. And so far the entries haven't been very deep...mostly weddingbee-style entries about details. I'll try to make this more personal and less vague.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
do me a favor?
LESS THAN 5 MONTHS! HOLY COW!
It is not a good idea to think/talk about wedding stuff when I'm tired, I have to go to work, I haven't seen my fiance in four days, and I'm feeling stressed. I made this mistake when I was talking to him the other night. I was like, "dude, we have five months left! There's still a lot to do." After I listed everything I thought we still had to do he was like, "We don't really have to do all those right away, right?" If we had been in the same room I would have shot him the dirtiest look I could summon.
He's right- we don't have to do all of these things right now. Some things, like the invitations, have to wait. HOWEVER since W is gonna be in Hartford all stinkin' summer, that leaves just me to take care of all the wedding stuff if we put it off, not to mention finding an apartment to move into in August.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE planning things. But I think I have very high expectations for this wedding...because I'm viewing it as a HUGE party for our friends and family, and I want it to not only reflect us, but to show appreciation for the important people in our lives that are coming to share our big day. I know in the end all the details don't matter, but I care a lot about how things turn out. I like to care about the details.
I had a dream that W and I were driving away from our wedding and discussing the day. We both felt like it was "whatever" and didn't think it was really fun. Needless to say, I was really upset when I woke up!
I know I have to give everything over to God...even small details like our wedding favors (sets of measuring spoons! The tag will say "Measure your life in love" and have our new address on it!) 5 months is still plenty of time to get things done, and really, in the end, all that matters is that we're married. I think I would feel better if I didn't feel like I was carrying the weight of the wedding on my shoulders. It sorta feels like I'm always the one instigating wedding planning...but I know W is busy with school and stressed about projects and stuff, so I don't feel like it's fair to get upset about it. We're going to NYC this weekend to meet up with the pastor who's marrying us, so hopefully time in the car will be fruitful. Please pray that I'm gracious, patient, and loving towards him!
I totally miss you all- even the Boston people. It's only March but I can already see my weekends and free time dwindling away. Sadness.
It is not a good idea to think/talk about wedding stuff when I'm tired, I have to go to work, I haven't seen my fiance in four days, and I'm feeling stressed. I made this mistake when I was talking to him the other night. I was like, "dude, we have five months left! There's still a lot to do." After I listed everything I thought we still had to do he was like, "We don't really have to do all those right away, right?" If we had been in the same room I would have shot him the dirtiest look I could summon.
He's right- we don't have to do all of these things right now. Some things, like the invitations, have to wait. HOWEVER since W is gonna be in Hartford all stinkin' summer, that leaves just me to take care of all the wedding stuff if we put it off, not to mention finding an apartment to move into in August.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE planning things. But I think I have very high expectations for this wedding...because I'm viewing it as a HUGE party for our friends and family, and I want it to not only reflect us, but to show appreciation for the important people in our lives that are coming to share our big day. I know in the end all the details don't matter, but I care a lot about how things turn out. I like to care about the details.
I had a dream that W and I were driving away from our wedding and discussing the day. We both felt like it was "whatever" and didn't think it was really fun. Needless to say, I was really upset when I woke up!
I know I have to give everything over to God...even small details like our wedding favors (sets of measuring spoons! The tag will say "Measure your life in love" and have our new address on it!) 5 months is still plenty of time to get things done, and really, in the end, all that matters is that we're married. I think I would feel better if I didn't feel like I was carrying the weight of the wedding on my shoulders. It sorta feels like I'm always the one instigating wedding planning...but I know W is busy with school and stressed about projects and stuff, so I don't feel like it's fair to get upset about it. We're going to NYC this weekend to meet up with the pastor who's marrying us, so hopefully time in the car will be fruitful. Please pray that I'm gracious, patient, and loving towards him!
I totally miss you all- even the Boston people. It's only March but I can already see my weekends and free time dwindling away. Sadness.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
finally!
I decided to take matters into my own hands and send out our Save-the-Date today. We've had it done since February but it's taken awhile to get everyone's email addresses. Thank goodness for Facebook! I know it's just a formality but we really want people to come; plus, airfare and everything is so expensive that people need to book as early as possible. Including us- eesh, I should get on that.
If you didn't get the email, let me know ASAP! I'm so worried that I missed crucial people...but hopefully all those people have that date saved anyway.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7Yc60rvUW5A
The video was W's idea. He brought it up one day when we were hanging out and I loved it so much that I wanted to tape it right then and there. We filmed a bunch of videos at my place but then decided to kick it up a notch and add costumes. I love seeing his creative side!
Speaking of creative, my cousin/flower girl drew this:
The wedding party, according to her. Nevermind the bridesmaids and groomsmen...who needs them when you have the flower girls and ring bearers? Haha, so cute.
If you didn't get the email, let me know ASAP! I'm so worried that I missed crucial people...but hopefully all those people have that date saved anyway.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7Yc60rvUW5A
The video was W's idea. He brought it up one day when we were hanging out and I loved it so much that I wanted to tape it right then and there. We filmed a bunch of videos at my place but then decided to kick it up a notch and add costumes. I love seeing his creative side!
Speaking of creative, my cousin/flower girl drew this:
The wedding party, according to her. Nevermind the bridesmaids and groomsmen...who needs them when you have the flower girls and ring bearers? Haha, so cute.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
make me pretty!
It never occurred to me that we would still have formal dances in college. I went to plenty of dances in high school and thought that was the end of it. Formals in college were interesting because people would go with dates, sorta, or go as a huge stag group but then someone would ruin it by asking someone...I dunno exactly, but there was always drama. Anyway, I was in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend was very involved in his schoolwork, so I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be going to a college formal. It's fine, I told myself. I don't need this anyway. I can help everyone get ready. I don't have to be part of the drama. Here, borrow my camera while I curl your hair. Have fun.
Instead of dressing up for formal I would go all out if we were having a Sister's Appreciation, going out for someone's birthday, etc. "It's my only chance to dress up!" I'd say. I was obviously overcompensating.
Now I'm a nurse and my work clothes consists of scrubs. I don't wear makeup or jewelry (other than my e-ring and a simple necklace) because face it, it's gonna get gross. And we don't really go out to fancy places or clubs or whatever, so I have little need to dress up. I thought I was becoming more comfortable with this laid-back clothing lifestyle, to the point where it wasn't a big deal to dress up. I was definitely wrong.
I GET TO DRESS UP ON MY WEDDING DAY! I can wear all the jewelry I want, have my hair and makeup done by someone else, be sparkly and shiny and ivory, have my nails done (for once!), and it's okay because it's my wedding day! I feel like it's my retribution for having to dress all scrubby. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but man, my femininity feels like it's been hitting an all-time low. I guess I could wear more form-fitting scrubs but I'm not THAT kind of nurse. And really, no one ever should be.
Anyway, pictures of my accessories thus far:
*ivory/gold ballet flats from Nordstrom Rack
*Givenchy Swarovski crystal earrings from Macy's
*Monet pearl and CZ earrings from Macy's
*the bustle on my dress (loosely done, it'll be cleaner day of)
*Swarovski crystal/pearl necklace from Guatemala courtesy of the lovely CJ (isn't it perfect!?!? She saw it there and bought it for me.)
I bought the Monet earrings because they match the necklace, but when I tried them on they were too subtle. I'll be wearing the blingy ones instead. I had a lot of help choosing accessories from my designated stylist, EJ, and my bridesmaids. Thanks gals! Actually, I think that the only accessory I need now is my wedding band! W and I will work on that.
I also had my hair trial while in California:
Miss Caramel (Carol) from Weddingbee happens to be friends with one of my bridesmaids, so I asked her to do my hair for the big day. I drove up to Culver City to see her- she was so nice! I had sent her pictures of things that I liked and she was able to visualize it pretty well.
I liked the back of my hair but she made it too high the first time. I looked like a ballerina, which was a little too stiff for me. She ended up making it lower (which is good since my hair is so stinkin' heavy) and making my side part more evident. Simple, classic, and hopefully beautiful. And hopefully able to withstand the 16-hour day that is my wedding.
I'll be meeting with Jamie, my makeup artist, sometime in May. I'm so intimidated by makeup, but Jamie did my makeup for another wedding and I felt really comfortable with her. Hurrah! It's such a relief to have awesome vendors and have some of these little things done. Almost 5 months until the wedding!
Instead of dressing up for formal I would go all out if we were having a Sister's Appreciation, going out for someone's birthday, etc. "It's my only chance to dress up!" I'd say. I was obviously overcompensating.
Now I'm a nurse and my work clothes consists of scrubs. I don't wear makeup or jewelry (other than my e-ring and a simple necklace) because face it, it's gonna get gross. And we don't really go out to fancy places or clubs or whatever, so I have little need to dress up. I thought I was becoming more comfortable with this laid-back clothing lifestyle, to the point where it wasn't a big deal to dress up. I was definitely wrong.
I GET TO DRESS UP ON MY WEDDING DAY! I can wear all the jewelry I want, have my hair and makeup done by someone else, be sparkly and shiny and ivory, have my nails done (for once!), and it's okay because it's my wedding day! I feel like it's my retribution for having to dress all scrubby. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but man, my femininity feels like it's been hitting an all-time low. I guess I could wear more form-fitting scrubs but I'm not THAT kind of nurse. And really, no one ever should be.
Anyway, pictures of my accessories thus far:
*ivory/gold ballet flats from Nordstrom Rack
*Givenchy Swarovski crystal earrings from Macy's
*Monet pearl and CZ earrings from Macy's
*the bustle on my dress (loosely done, it'll be cleaner day of)
*Swarovski crystal/pearl necklace from Guatemala courtesy of the lovely CJ (isn't it perfect!?!? She saw it there and bought it for me.)
I bought the Monet earrings because they match the necklace, but when I tried them on they were too subtle. I'll be wearing the blingy ones instead. I had a lot of help choosing accessories from my designated stylist, EJ, and my bridesmaids. Thanks gals! Actually, I think that the only accessory I need now is my wedding band! W and I will work on that.
I also had my hair trial while in California:
Miss Caramel (Carol) from Weddingbee happens to be friends with one of my bridesmaids, so I asked her to do my hair for the big day. I drove up to Culver City to see her- she was so nice! I had sent her pictures of things that I liked and she was able to visualize it pretty well.
I liked the back of my hair but she made it too high the first time. I looked like a ballerina, which was a little too stiff for me. She ended up making it lower (which is good since my hair is so stinkin' heavy) and making my side part more evident. Simple, classic, and hopefully beautiful. And hopefully able to withstand the 16-hour day that is my wedding.
I'll be meeting with Jamie, my makeup artist, sometime in May. I'm so intimidated by makeup, but Jamie did my makeup for another wedding and I felt really comfortable with her. Hurrah! It's such a relief to have awesome vendors and have some of these little things done. Almost 5 months until the wedding!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Pao Pao Pao!
Getting my qipao/cheongsam was the most difficult wedding-related task I had last week. I thought it'd be relatively simple- go to Temple City, find a place to buy the dress or have it made, done! Unfortunately that wasn't the case.
My mom, grandma and I trekked up to Temple City to a street that supposedly had dozens of shops for Chinese dresses. That assumption was only half correct- there were dozens of shops, but unfortunately half of them were closed, and most of them were the Taiwanese-glamour-shot studios. We found a shop that had some dresses, and my mom had me try some on to get an idea of what I liked.
This is just a sampling...let's just say that nothing fit perfectly. The first dress was an attempt at something traditional, the second was something more modern (boatneck and mermaid cut? Interesting.) the third was actually pretty good, and the fourth was for my grandma cuz she liked the dragon and phoenix design. The design was okay, but the dress was made of velvet and it was see-through. Not the look I'm going for. The third dress would have to be let out, plus it was $600 to custom-make it or $120 to rent it for the weekend.
$600?!?!? My wedding dress didn't even cost that much. I said no thanks and went to Little Saigon in Westminster to try again.
My mom warned me against Vietnamese cheongsams because the quality isn't as good. I thought she was being racist but later found that she was totally right. Nothing in the stores looked as good as the Chinese ones. However, my sister got a dress made at a place called Francine Bridal, so we went there. The price was right (approx. $70 to have it custom made), but I didn't like their fabric. Thus began our search for "the perfect fabric" through Little Saigon.
Did you know that there are, like, 10 fabric stores near Bolsa and Magnolia? We didn't find the fabric until the 10th store. The first store we found had fabric for $25/yard, which I thought was unreasonable, and the last store had better fabric for $12/yard. My little sister/MOH was a trooper for going to all those stores and not complaining once. We found two patterns we liked but wanted another opinion before buying it.
I had my mom and grandma go with me the next day to double-check the fabric before I bought it, and then rushed to Francine Bridal to get my order in. This was done the morning I went back to Boston.
The whole process was nice because I got to include my grandma. My grandma said she got married in China when the Communists took over and they weren't allowed to have weddings...just small ceremonies that included the bride, groom, and maybe a professor or something. She's totally new to all this hoopla, so it was fun including her in this part. She had a lot of opinions about what she thought the dress should look like, so I'm glad she got a chance to express it instead of giving me a disapproving look later on. Hopefully she'll have fun at the wedding!
So the verdict: red, strapless, backless! I'll show you pictures of the final product when I go to my fitting in May.
My mom, grandma and I trekked up to Temple City to a street that supposedly had dozens of shops for Chinese dresses. That assumption was only half correct- there were dozens of shops, but unfortunately half of them were closed, and most of them were the Taiwanese-glamour-shot studios. We found a shop that had some dresses, and my mom had me try some on to get an idea of what I liked.
This is just a sampling...let's just say that nothing fit perfectly. The first dress was an attempt at something traditional, the second was something more modern (boatneck and mermaid cut? Interesting.) the third was actually pretty good, and the fourth was for my grandma cuz she liked the dragon and phoenix design. The design was okay, but the dress was made of velvet and it was see-through. Not the look I'm going for. The third dress would have to be let out, plus it was $600 to custom-make it or $120 to rent it for the weekend.
$600?!?!? My wedding dress didn't even cost that much. I said no thanks and went to Little Saigon in Westminster to try again.
My mom warned me against Vietnamese cheongsams because the quality isn't as good. I thought she was being racist but later found that she was totally right. Nothing in the stores looked as good as the Chinese ones. However, my sister got a dress made at a place called Francine Bridal, so we went there. The price was right (approx. $70 to have it custom made), but I didn't like their fabric. Thus began our search for "the perfect fabric" through Little Saigon.
Did you know that there are, like, 10 fabric stores near Bolsa and Magnolia? We didn't find the fabric until the 10th store. The first store we found had fabric for $25/yard, which I thought was unreasonable, and the last store had better fabric for $12/yard. My little sister/MOH was a trooper for going to all those stores and not complaining once. We found two patterns we liked but wanted another opinion before buying it.
I had my mom and grandma go with me the next day to double-check the fabric before I bought it, and then rushed to Francine Bridal to get my order in. This was done the morning I went back to Boston.
The whole process was nice because I got to include my grandma. My grandma said she got married in China when the Communists took over and they weren't allowed to have weddings...just small ceremonies that included the bride, groom, and maybe a professor or something. She's totally new to all this hoopla, so it was fun including her in this part. She had a lot of opinions about what she thought the dress should look like, so I'm glad she got a chance to express it instead of giving me a disapproving look later on. Hopefully she'll have fun at the wedding!
So the verdict: red, strapless, backless! I'll show you pictures of the final product when I go to my fitting in May.
Monday, March 3, 2008
huh?
I have a ton of pictures to post about my wedding-planning week in California (which, btw, I would highly recommend, with some adjustments), but since it's late and I have to work tomorrow I'll just say this:I think I get hit on more now that I'm engaged than when I was just dating.
This is, like, the reverse-Carla effect! (In Scrubs Carla noticed that men didn't notice her anymore after she got engaged...to the point where The Todd wasn't even making sexual innuendos around her.) I, however, have gotten hit on more. The cashier at Staples was asking me for my zodiac sign after he saw my ring (nipped that one cuz I told him it was my engagement ring) and then some dude at the Phoenix airport totally winked at me and gave me twice the amount of chili cheese fries (pictured above).
I'm kind of confused, but this lends to my theory that people of the opposite sex are more attracted to you when you're unavailable. Hear me out: if you know someone is in a relationship, that means that 1) they're able to make a commitment and 2) someone else likes that person for some reason or another. So it's like two automatic plusses...even if you were neutral about that person, knowing they're in a relationship may make you stop to think about their better qualities, or what they might contribute to a relationship.
I'd venture to say that if a really "blah" guy was with a really "wow" girl it would cause everyone to question what that guy had that we didn't notice but the "wow" girl saw. And we might look more favorably on the "blah" guy because of it.
I don't know if that makes sense but I think the theory has some validity. I hope you other bride-to-be's aren't getting hit on left and right, and for everyone else...something to think about. =)
Friday, February 22, 2008
yayyyyy!
Thanks to a snowy day we had time to book our honeymoon! Check this baby out:
Costa Rica, here we come! We're gonna stay at an all-inclusive in Guanacaste for 3 nights and then in Arenal (where the active volcano is) for 4 nights. It's gonna be a very action-packed honeymoon since they have canopy tours (read: ziplines), white-water rafting, kayaking, surfing...all sorts of stuff. I can't wait!
We also finished our save-the-dates tonight and are pretty close to having the wedding website be public soon. Or, well, semi-public...we'll have a password for people to view the site. I'm going back home next week to do more wedding stuff at home. Soooo much stuff to do, but thankfully this process has been really fun.
Costa Rica, here we come! We're gonna stay at an all-inclusive in Guanacaste for 3 nights and then in Arenal (where the active volcano is) for 4 nights. It's gonna be a very action-packed honeymoon since they have canopy tours (read: ziplines), white-water rafting, kayaking, surfing...all sorts of stuff. I can't wait!
We also finished our save-the-dates tonight and are pretty close to having the wedding website be public soon. Or, well, semi-public...we'll have a password for people to view the site. I'm going back home next week to do more wedding stuff at home. Soooo much stuff to do, but thankfully this process has been really fun.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
did you miss me?
Lots of things have been happening since I last posted!
1) I got rejected from weddingbee. =( But that's okay because it gives me more freedom to post whatever I want now.
2) W got an offer for an internship in Hartford, CT! I'm excited for him but also bummed because that means he'll be in Hartford for the summer (if he takes it, that is, which he probably will.)
3) We went to J&J's wedding in Houston this past weekend. The wedding was beautiful and it was so fun to see WashU friends. It made me that much more excited for our wedding!
4) We booked our photographer- the fabulous Miss Anne Hwang!
5) We chose our honeymoon destination: Costa Rica
I was telling someone this weekend that I can't believe how expensive weddings can be. I really hope that our wedding can show how rich we are...not monetarily, obviously, but how rich we are in our relationships, friendships, and families.
Even with this thought in mind, it's really easy to get caught up in all the glamour of the wedding. On one hand, it's the one day where I get to dress up and be pretty; on the other hand, it's just one day. Eesh. I'm gonna spend a little more time tomorrow doing wedding stuff, so after praying about it more I'll have a better idea of how I want to approach this.
Everything considered, I still can't wait to marry him. =)
1) I got rejected from weddingbee. =( But that's okay because it gives me more freedom to post whatever I want now.
2) W got an offer for an internship in Hartford, CT! I'm excited for him but also bummed because that means he'll be in Hartford for the summer (if he takes it, that is, which he probably will.)
3) We went to J&J's wedding in Houston this past weekend. The wedding was beautiful and it was so fun to see WashU friends. It made me that much more excited for our wedding!
4) We booked our photographer- the fabulous Miss Anne Hwang!
5) We chose our honeymoon destination: Costa Rica
I was telling someone this weekend that I can't believe how expensive weddings can be. I really hope that our wedding can show how rich we are...not monetarily, obviously, but how rich we are in our relationships, friendships, and families.
Even with this thought in mind, it's really easy to get caught up in all the glamour of the wedding. On one hand, it's the one day where I get to dress up and be pretty; on the other hand, it's just one day. Eesh. I'm gonna spend a little more time tomorrow doing wedding stuff, so after praying about it more I'll have a better idea of how I want to approach this.
Everything considered, I still can't wait to marry him. =)
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
honeymoon!
Back to planning-mode!
My apartment is awesome- not only is it close to two major highways, gas stations, a bank, a grocery store, a post office and W's house, but it also has a FedEx/Kinko's, CVS, TJ Maxx, and my new favorite: AAA!
I've been there once before to ask about discount movie tickets, but this time I decided to explore their travel agency. I had looked on the AAA website and saw only trips to Europe, the Caribbean, and Hawaii, so I gave up. However, W mentioned that maybe we should go inside and see if they have more options.
Totally worth it! The travel agent was really helpful, gave me a bunch of comprehensive brochures, and assured me that we could make anything work. I wasn't much help since I didn't have a specific location in mind, but she didn't seem to mind. JC had also given me a tip about Arthur Frommer's blog: frommers.com/blog. I know travel is his business, but he makes everything sound so enticing and affordable! I almost feel like I should be traveling more. I like his honest approach to saving money and exploring. If we don't book through AAA we might go through escapesltd.com. AMAZING deals...it makes me wish we had unlimited funds and an infinite amount of time off to explore the world.
Now we just have to decide where we want to go! My mind keeps changing based on what I'm craving that day. If we had to pick today we'd go to New Jersey or New York to eat Nathan's Cheese Fries. Obviously big decisions should not be made on an empty stomach. =)
My apartment is awesome- not only is it close to two major highways, gas stations, a bank, a grocery store, a post office and W's house, but it also has a FedEx/Kinko's, CVS, TJ Maxx, and my new favorite: AAA!
I've been there once before to ask about discount movie tickets, but this time I decided to explore their travel agency. I had looked on the AAA website and saw only trips to Europe, the Caribbean, and Hawaii, so I gave up. However, W mentioned that maybe we should go inside and see if they have more options.
Totally worth it! The travel agent was really helpful, gave me a bunch of comprehensive brochures, and assured me that we could make anything work. I wasn't much help since I didn't have a specific location in mind, but she didn't seem to mind. JC had also given me a tip about Arthur Frommer's blog: frommers.com/blog. I know travel is his business, but he makes everything sound so enticing and affordable! I almost feel like I should be traveling more. I like his honest approach to saving money and exploring. If we don't book through AAA we might go through escapesltd.com. AMAZING deals...it makes me wish we had unlimited funds and an infinite amount of time off to explore the world.
Now we just have to decide where we want to go! My mind keeps changing based on what I'm craving that day. If we had to pick today we'd go to New Jersey or New York to eat Nathan's Cheese Fries. Obviously big decisions should not be made on an empty stomach. =)
Monday, February 4, 2008
A non-planning day
Let's face it- I love planning things. Is it your birthday yet? Can I plan your party? Let's celebrate the beginning of summer. When should we host the next get-together?
It takes a lot of restraint for me to NOT plan, but I managed to do it today. I had the day off, but wanted to rest and have a day where I dealt with the present, not the future. W came over later to hang out, have dinner, and do some work, but he helped me adhere to my no-planning rule for the night.
Surprisingly, no planning was involved when we were working on our wedding website! W had set it up, and all I had to do was add descriptions and pictures. There's plenty of stuff we'll have to add that involves phone calls and planning, but tonight I got to do the fun stuff. It was a nice trip down memory lane. I can't wait till you get to see it! We didn't want to pay for our own domain (and neither of us is computer-savvy enough to set it up) so we went with a comprehensive, free site: mywedding.com. W thought most of the designs were too feminine, but that was the only complaint we've had. It has lots of different categories (like attractions, accommodations, photos, etc.) and is pretty easy for us to figure out. Thumbs up!
The only thing we haven't figured out is how to put banquet information on the website. We're inviting, like, 500 people to our wedding and having a light reception immediately afterwards, but only a select few are invited to the banquet (I lovingly refer to them as "the 300".) As much as we'd like to invite all of them to the banquet, it's just not financially possible. How do we inform the 300 in a tasteful manner? That involves planning, so I'll save it for another day...but I'm definitely open to suggestions! (BTW, you readers are definitely part of the 300. ;)
It takes a lot of restraint for me to NOT plan, but I managed to do it today. I had the day off, but wanted to rest and have a day where I dealt with the present, not the future. W came over later to hang out, have dinner, and do some work, but he helped me adhere to my no-planning rule for the night.
Surprisingly, no planning was involved when we were working on our wedding website! W had set it up, and all I had to do was add descriptions and pictures. There's plenty of stuff we'll have to add that involves phone calls and planning, but tonight I got to do the fun stuff. It was a nice trip down memory lane. I can't wait till you get to see it! We didn't want to pay for our own domain (and neither of us is computer-savvy enough to set it up) so we went with a comprehensive, free site: mywedding.com. W thought most of the designs were too feminine, but that was the only complaint we've had. It has lots of different categories (like attractions, accommodations, photos, etc.) and is pretty easy for us to figure out. Thumbs up!
The only thing we haven't figured out is how to put banquet information on the website. We're inviting, like, 500 people to our wedding and having a light reception immediately afterwards, but only a select few are invited to the banquet (I lovingly refer to them as "the 300".) As much as we'd like to invite all of them to the banquet, it's just not financially possible. How do we inform the 300 in a tasteful manner? That involves planning, so I'll save it for another day...but I'm definitely open to suggestions! (BTW, you readers are definitely part of the 300. ;)
Saturday, February 2, 2008
the name game
I got an email from a friend referring to me as the "soon to be mrs. c____"! It was weird thinking that by the end of next year I'll have a new name.
(Haha, in my yearly review at work I should have told them I was studying for my M.R.S. when they asked what further education I was going to pursue.)
Anyway, I've decided to take W's last name. That wasn't a big decision because I was more than happy to do so. However, I don't know if I'm going to keep my maiden name. I wouldn't hyphenate it, but I have the option of having it as a second middle name, so to speak. I can't drop my given middle name because it incorporates my mom's name...and really, it's too clever for me to just get rid of it.
Pros and Cons for keeping it:
Pros- 1) I'm very close to my family, and keeping the name shows my family pride; 2) My nursing license is listed with my maiden name; 3) It asserts my independence and identity- like, this is not only who I was but also who I still am.
Cons- 1) My initials are much cuter if I just use my married name (TLC as opposed to TLLC); 2) It sounds way too long if I keep both last names...and I wouldn't want people to think it's hyphenated cuz it sounds weird; 3) We're becoming a new family, and part of me thinks I should let go of my maiden name (esp. since I have brothers to carry that name). It doesn't make me any less a part of my family if I do it.
I have no idea what to do! Or, well, okay...I think I'm leaning towards just being TLC. But a little part of me is sad cuz it's, like, the end of an era! *sigh* I'll have to think/pray about it more. Any thoughts?
(Haha, in my yearly review at work I should have told them I was studying for my M.R.S. when they asked what further education I was going to pursue.)
Anyway, I've decided to take W's last name. That wasn't a big decision because I was more than happy to do so. However, I don't know if I'm going to keep my maiden name. I wouldn't hyphenate it, but I have the option of having it as a second middle name, so to speak. I can't drop my given middle name because it incorporates my mom's name...and really, it's too clever for me to just get rid of it.
Pros and Cons for keeping it:
Pros- 1) I'm very close to my family, and keeping the name shows my family pride; 2) My nursing license is listed with my maiden name; 3) It asserts my independence and identity- like, this is not only who I was but also who I still am.
Cons- 1) My initials are much cuter if I just use my married name (TLC as opposed to TLLC); 2) It sounds way too long if I keep both last names...and I wouldn't want people to think it's hyphenated cuz it sounds weird; 3) We're becoming a new family, and part of me thinks I should let go of my maiden name (esp. since I have brothers to carry that name). It doesn't make me any less a part of my family if I do it.
I have no idea what to do! Or, well, okay...I think I'm leaning towards just being TLC. But a little part of me is sad cuz it's, like, the end of an era! *sigh* I'll have to think/pray about it more. Any thoughts?
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Conservative or liberal?
We're not talking politics- we're talking about my qipao/cheongsam! (W's family calls it a qipao cuz they're Mandarin speaking and we call it a cheongsam cuz we're Canto.)
It looks like we're going to have a tea ceremony right before the banquet, so I want a cheongsam for the occasion. Technically I could just wear my wedding gown, but I want a cheongsam. Yes, I am aware that I'll be changing out of my gown and into the cheongsam and then back into my gown for the beginning of the banquet (and then maybe into the cheongsam again later that night) but I don't care! I'll do it!
So anyway, a friend from WashU got married in 2004 and had a BACKLESS cheongsam. Her mom made it for her, and it was purple brocade and totally gorgeous. Ever since then I was like, dude, I want a sexy cheongsam, too.
Lucky for me that style is en vogue and relatively easy to find. I talked to a seamstress in California way back when and she said she'd be able to do it for me. Here's what it might look like:
So here are my questions/dilemmas:
1) Is the backless cheongsam too revealing? I know I'm wearing a strapless gown, but that's more acceptable. This is pretty non-traditional, and I'll be meeting some of W's relatives from Taiwan for the first time. I don't want to be offensive. (I obviously have no trouble showing skin...I AM Californian after all!)
2) Can I wear the same strapless bra with my gown and this dress?
and
3) Should I go with the traditional red or another color? I don't want white (I think that's a funeral color) and pink supposedly is the color concubines wear. I don't know if there are special meanings behind other colors, too. I tried on a red one and it looked okay (since my complexion is so pale. Thank you, Boston!) but I like to be different. Maybe blue, after my hero:
Thoughts?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)